Australia, you will be missed

I cannot believe my six weeks in Australia has come to an end. I must have had some fun because time flew! As I spend my final nights here in Darwin (located in the northern central part of the country), I am reflecting on some of my favorite things Australia had to offer:

1.) Hot Men - Yes folks, Australian men are very good looking. Not to mention, most of them are my favorite types, they resemble lumberjacks, are tan, wear work boots, have scruffy faces and are pretty much tougher than Chuck Norris. (For those of you who don't know, when the boogie man goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris)


2.) Gaytime Ice Cream - I don't know if I mentioned in any of my other blogs, but I recently picked up an affinity for ice cream. Although I didn't eat it much in the states, all that changed when I got on airplane and was told I was "on holiday." Needless to say, I went on streak of eating ice cream every day, which lasted for 43 days. This particular ice cream is not only delicious, but has a hysterical tagline - "It's hard to have a Gaytime alone."


3.) The "Yute" - I figure this is the Mullet of vehicles (business in front, party in the back.) It combines the sleek look of a sedan with a truck bed. When I first saw these cars I thought to myself "God, if you drove that in America you would be made fun of", but apparently they are super popular over here, as I see all makes and models everywhere I go!!


4.) "G' day Mate", "I reckon", "Heaps", "How ya Goin", "Brekkie" (Breakfast) - These are just a few of the common Australian slang words that I am going to miss hearing on a daily basis. Although the Australians don't say "throw some shrimp on the barbie" (they nicely told me that they call them prawns not shrimp), they do say all these other phrases. Here are all of them used in a sentence!

"G'day mate, how ya going? I'm so hungover, I reckon it's about time I go get heaps of greasy brekkie!"


5.) Road Trains - If you think driving a 16-wheeler might be tough, try a 64-wheeler! Because the territories are so spread out here in OZ, and there is NOTHING to see but dirt and bush for days, the Australians came up with the Road Train; a four car tractor trailer which is about the only vehicle you see while driving through the center of the country. At up to 150ft in length, they stop as easily as a regular train, so they come equipped with huge metal brush guards on the front which easily fling off the kangeroos, wallabies and even cattle that roam around the bush.


6.) 0% Gratuity - Need I say more?! Not having to pay an extra 20% at every meal is amazing.


Ahh, what fun I've had here in OZ. It will be missed. Well let me recap what I have done for the last 6 days, and what lies ahead:

After two nights in Adelaide, we headed out at 5am for our six day trek to Darwin and Kakadu National Park. Our guide, Wayne, described the tour from Adelaide to Darwin as a "glorified taxi drive", and in the scheme of things, there wasn't much to see compared to other three-day tours I have been on. We stopped at two old telegraph stations (apparently back in the day there used to be 1 wire that ran from south Australia all the way to England, which of course needed to pass through the center), the Mataranka thermal springs, the Devil's Marbles (large rocks that I lovingly called "big balls" for the rest of the tour), a beautiful waterfall and swimming hole near Katherine Gorges and the town of Katherine (which we only spent 15 minutes in because, unfortunately, most of us were scared of the drunk aboriginals roaming the streets.) As always the scenery was amazing, and although the fly population went down as we went north, the heat and humidity rose - on the day we did our hike through Katherine gorge it was 110 degrees with 80% humidity. Yes, the fro is in full effect!


After a one night stay in Darwin, we met our new guide Corey at 6am to head to Litchfield and Kakadu National Park. I never thought I would get picky about waterfalls, but after all the amazing waterholes I got to see, I liked some more than others (but of course, they were all seriously breathtaking.) We spent the morning swimming and rock jumping at the Mary River Wetlands and Florence falls. In the afternoon we took a crocodile tour down the Adelaide River (which has the highest population of Saltwater Crocodiles in the world). As i've mentioned before, there isn't much that scares me, but MY GOD having crocodiles this size right next to you, brings back flashbacks of the movie lake placid where the croc jumps up and bites a guys head off. It was pretty freaky!! After a night camping, we headed to look at some aboriginal art (which I am sorry to say, looks a little like something a 4 year old might do), looked at termite houses the size of trucks, hiked up to a spectaular look out, and then did some swimming in another plunge pool and waterfall. On our third day we got up at 6am and drove to the south of Kakadu National Park to beat the other tour buses to another waterfall, which we got to ourselves for almost an hour, headed to yet another waterfall, and then did the long 4-hour drive back into Darwin. And that concludes my 21 Adventure Tour!


So what's next? On Wednesday Tim and I meet up to fly to Singpore. Once we arrive, he is heading to the Phillipines for three weeks and I am going to trek through Malaysia with my friend Rego for 10 days. I will arrive in Bangkok, Thailand for their New Year on April 10th and plan on spending a month there, exploring the country and surrounding islands. Then another two months in Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, and possibly Indonesia and Bali (to do some more scuba diving.) I am hoping to head to South America around the middle of August for a 4 month adventure!! As much as it kills my mother to say, I am currently on the "no plan, plan", so all this might change depending on funds and who I meet along the way to travel with. I'll keep you posted.

All I can say is, "life is good"!!!!!!!

A Patriot in the Outback

So apparently I am patriotic. I never would have considered myself to be "pro-America" if you asked me, but the more time I spend away, and the more foreigners I meet, the more I find myself standing up for my native country and being called Patriotic by those around me. Generally speaking, America does not have a good reputation abroad; we are known for our elaborate pop culture, celebrity obsession, unsteady presidency, extreme obesity, loud obnoxious voices and an attitude of "our country is better than yours." When I asked a group of Candadians excitedley if they were American (their accents sound extremely similar to Americans), they replied "no!" in disgust. My Swiss friend said her teacher in school taught her that Americans were stupid, mainly referring to the "valley girls"from California. My Danish friends told me that although everyone in Coppenhagen wants to be like Americans (dress, culture, etc.), in school they watch all the Michael Moore documentaries ("Bowling for Columbine", "Supersize me", etc.) and think this is how Americans live - that most people will walk into a bank at some point in their lives and buy a gun, and will always supersize will eating MacDonalds once a day. An English friend asked me sarcastically what I thought of our "perfect new President", and another Englishman engaged me in an hour long debate, stating that 1,000 of the best English Soldiers could crush 1,000 of the best American soldiers in a fight. Although Americans are generally considered close-minded, I find that most of the people I meet are more close minded in their views of Americans than we are of any other country. It doesn't help that so few Americans actually travel (I think it is some astronimical statistic like only 20% of our population has passports), to give other countries an accurate view of what our people are really like.

I mentioned above that Americans are known to have a better-than-you attitude, and let me tell you that after hearing about the governmental systems and political structures of other countries, I might want to abandon my patriotism and make my home somwhere else. In Australia and New Zealand everyone recycles, they are so environmentally conscious it is ridiculous (even the toilets give you an ecological option - push a button for #1 which will use less water, or another button for a #2 which of course will use more). In almost every country 6 weeks vacation time is standard, and many employers will offer their employees to take paid weeks or months of absence every year. People are encouraged to travel (at all ages!) In Denmark, granted they pay about 50% of their wages in taxes, everything is free: doctor, hospital, schooling, etc. (The government even gives people up to an extra $2,000 a month in spending money when they choose to go to University!) Although Patriotic, I am beginning to think we should take some advice from our foreign neighbors and make some changes to America!


Well anyway, enough political rambling. After my stay in Melbourne I caught an early bus with a lot of new faces, on a 3 day tour headed along the Ocean road to Adelaide. My new friends from Denmark said the first morning they met me at 5am they swore I was drunk (I was extremely energetic, introducing myself to the bus as the co-pilot!)

Our first stop was to a town called Torquay where the company Rip Curl started and made their headquarters (huge surfer town) and then onto Bells Beach where I caught my first glimpse of Koala bears, which are actually boring furry blobs that sleep all day. We did a treetop walk through the rainforrest called the Otway Fly and then headed to look at the 12 Apostles, large rocks jutting out into the sea (although there are only 8 left!)

The next two days we did more driving along the Great Ocean Road looking at sandstone and more sandstone, hiking in Grampians National Park and a place called Hollow Mountain and even checked out a beautiful waterfall called Mackenzie Falls. When we arrived in Adelaide they were having their yearly month-long festival, but it just looked like a plain old carnival to me, except with more freak shows (there was a man who could breathe through his eyes?!)






We spent two fun days in Adelaide, and then I began my 6 day Adventure Tour to Alice Springs. Now sitting comfortably in my air conditioned room in Alice Springs, I can finally begin to enjoy the Outback. Don't get me wrong the sites I have seen were amazing, but holy cow the outback is hot, infested with flies, and unfortunately a lot of drunk aboriginals. In America if there is one fly buzzing around you its annoying, now imagine that times 100. I have officially become a licensed Fly Killer and slaughtered 58 (yes I kept count) unsuspecting flies in the past 6 days. My travel around the world flip-flops have now become my weapons of choice. The flies are so bad, we all had to wear fly hats everywhere we went, and the one time I forgot my hat a fly kamazazied right up my nose (no joke, and it still hasn't come out.) After we left Adelaide we hiked the Dutchman's Stern for stunning 360 degree views of a town called Quorn, Spencer Gulf and the Flinders Ranges, hiked Wilpena Pound, checked out the salt lakes (Australia used to be covered by an inland ocean, and these dried up salt sheets are whats left) then we spent two nights in Quorn. For dinner on our first night we ate Camel Sausages, Emu Burger and Kangeroo Steaks - yummy!!






Coober Pedy is a small town, built basically in the middle of the desert by Opal Miners, who after getting here decided it was too hot to live outside, so they put their village underground. I am pretty sure no amount of opals could get me to live here! After an afternoon of feeding Joeys (Kangerroo babies), we spent the night in an underground bunkhouse and headed out the next morning at stupid o'clock for a 500KM drive to Yulara a town that has built up next to the famous Uluru (Ayers Rock.) We caught sunset at Uluru but what I thought would be a beautiful display of nature, was eclipsed by the 40 other tourist buses, and the massive amount of tailgating going on (each bus provided its passengers with champagne and appetizers while they watched a rock do nothing.) I did keep it interesting by hitting on one of the hot bus drivers (and earned $10 from by crew for getting his phone number), and Adam (who I met up with while in Alice Springs) actually turned out to be a great guy!


The next two nights we slept in traditional Aussie Swags - a waterproof sleeping bag- under the stars (hoping a grasshopper, stink bug, super duper large ant with the biggest pinchers I have ever seen, or snake didn't crawl into bed with you). It was actually the best nights sleep I have had in a while. The next day we woke up again at the ass-crack of dawn (breakfast at 4am!) and headed to Kings Canyon to do a 3 hour hike before the sun got too hot. In the middle of the canyon is a swimming hole called The Garden of Eden, where I took a dip in my clothes because I accidentally dropped my camera down the rock embankment and although I thought it might be lost to the deep water, was able to wade out and find it. Luckily I know myself well enough and took a shockproof/waterproof camera with me before I headed on my travels. Overall it was a lot of driving, but exceptionally beautiful scenery and lots of laughs. Tomorrow we head out at 5:10am for our 6 day adventure to Darwin and Kakadu National Park!

Time is of the essence

I openly admit that my memory is pretty bad. I have trouble remembering what I ate for dinner yesterday, nevermind things from before the age of 12. However, I can vividly remember the day when my mother forgot to turn the clocks forward. I was probably about 8, and like any other Sunday my mother, sister and I headed to church to be there as it began at 10am. Needless to say when we arrived at what we thought was a little before 10, everyone was singing and looking at us like we were insane. We soon realized that we had forgot to turn our clocks and were actually arriving as Church ended. At least in this instance, besides suffering from slight embarassment, we didn't have the overhwhelming stress of being late. That has not been the case for me the past couple of days. The morning of my Great Barrier Reef dive, I was all set to get up at 6:30, for a 7:30 check-in at the boat. I double-checked my vodofone alarm, and went to sleep after a great day exploring Cairns. In the morning I woke up and looked at my wrist watch and read 7:30. How could this be happening!?! Apparently my vodofone wasn't set forward to the correct time. I did a mad dash downstairs at my hostel to see if someone could drive me to the harbor, and when I got there ran all the way down the pier to my boat in a bikini (thats all I had a chance to grab) waving my ticket. The nice gentlman from Colorado standing outside the boat told me that check-in was actually from 7:30 to 8:30 and that I was not late, but asked me to please go back to the main office and check-in properly, which I did, still in my bikini, but this time laughing with all the people who had just seen my half-naked body sprinting in the other direction. You would think that after this happening I would learn from my mistake, but no. The other morning I had a 6:45 am pick-up outside my hostel in Sydney to begin my 21 day Adventure Tour through the center of Australia. I had my alarm set for 6:15 (this is sounding familiar), but when I awoke and read my wrist watch (7:15). Holy crap. Not only did this tour cost me about $2,500 but if I missed it, I would miss my flight from Darwin to Singapore on March 31st. I ran downstairs in my underwear, and once I got the number for the tour company, begged them to come back and pick me up. Luckily the driver was nice enough to turn around and come get me (which NEVER happens.) I apologized for starting our relationship off on a bad foot, but assured him that he would grow to love me. Since then Squirtal (he refuses to tell me how he got that name) has grown to love his self appointed co-pilot.


Diving The Great Barrier Reef, was all that I hoped it would be, but certainly not what I expected. I always imagined the reef being right on the coast, fairly small, surrounded by crystal clear water and white sand beaches. I soon found out that the reef itself is hundreds of miles long, and that it takes a 2 hour boat ride to get there! When I always heard how tourists are destroying the reef I never fathomed how that was possible - but on the day I dove there must have been 200 people on my boat, and 25 other boats doing the exact same thing. Don't be fooled, this is a money making enterprise, shuttling out 4,000 poeple a day, at at least $200 a person, who kick, touch and step on the reef, I can see now how it is being destroyed at a price. Since the reef is so large, the "exclusive site" our boat stopped out was only for us. I liked my first dive so much that I booked two more 45 minute dives in the afternoon. The food was fantastic, the instructors were cute, the underwater scenery was beautiful, the sun was shining and the adrenaline was pumping. Some people weren't comfortable breathing underwater and couldn't go down, but this was made for me! I felt like Ariel from the Little Mermaid except I couldn't talk underwater, which was probably the most frustrating part for me, as I had a million things to say and jokes to make about everything (but I had to stop myself from laughing underwater which I learned the hard way floods water into your mask, and at 30ft below sea level that isn't fun!)


After all my travels, and adrenaline pumping activities, I was beginning to think I was fearless - white water rafting, bungey jumping, sky diving, caving, snorkelling - nothing has been too scary for me. BUT on my last day in Cairns I finally met my match and found something that scared the crap out of me - driving a scooter. Go ahead laugh, but they are scary!!! My friend Fraser and I rented these bright yellow beasts to drive outside of town to swimming holes, cliff jumping and rainforrests. They were heavy, akward, and since everytime I took my hand off the handle bar I rocked from side to side, I wasn't able to itch my face for long periods at a time, not to mention all the people driving by at 100mph flicking us off and screaming at us as we cruised along at granny-speed. Even with all these perrils, the trip out of town was amazing!


As I mentioned before, I began my 21 day Adventure Tour on Monday. We headed first to the capital of Australia, Canberra, which was kind of like a ghost town, but we did get to see the parliment buildings and a quick visit to the local mall. We stayed the night in the Alpine Village of Thredbo, and got up early in the morning to hike "The Roof of Australia" or better known as Mt Kosciuszko (the highest mountain in OZ.) It was only slightly raining at the bottom of the mountain but after we took the chairlift up the rain began, and it didn't stop. I quickly earned the nickname "G.I. Jane" because I stormed up the hill ready to get to the summit, and as I marched on I felt like Luitenant Dan from Forrest Gump, battling the elements, but much to my dismay, even though I got the farthest of anyone in my group, I had to turn around 2.5km from the top because the weather was unbearable. After I got feeling back in my fingers, and changed my soaking wet clothes, we headed along the Barry Way, an extremely windy road with spectacular views overlooking the Snowy River. We spent the night in the coastal town of Lakes Entrance, the gateway to the Gippsland Lakes and Australia's longest beach - Ninety Mile Beach. After an early morning rise (6:30am, which seems so much earlier now that I am unemployed) we headed to Australia's most southerly point, Wilsons Promontory National Park. We saw all sorts of Australian wildlife on our trip. We all swormed out of the car to take a picture of a large snake in the middle of the road, then turned the bus around and while driving past watched the snake be smooshed by an uncoming truck. We also saw (living) wombats, kangeroos, emu's and lots of other little creatures, as well as large granite rocks and beautiful coastal views. After a brief night in Melbourne tonight, tomorrow I get up early again to head along the Great Ocean Road and on to Adelaide.

Youth is wasted on the young (and wasted)

I can't believe how many of the people I am surrounded by on a daily basis drink their trips away. Most of the travelers spend their nights drinking and partying, and their days hungover and sleeping. I told someone I was going running in the morning and they said "of all the people I have met, no one has ever told me that!" As I moved my way up the coast of Australia I was introduced to a new word, which I hear at least 20 times a day, "goon." This drink, which Americans know as boxed wine, is 14% alcohol and taken with backpackers everywhere they go. Forget the beautiful white beaches of Fraser Island, or the scenic landscape of the Whitsundays, people care if there will be enough goon to last the entire trip. I find myself saying things like "I'm too old for this", and the fact of the matter is that I am one of the older travellers on the backpacking route, and because I don't drink am considered an anomaly by most. I suppose if I were in my early twenties (it hurts to admit that I'm not anymore) like most of the travelers are, I would too have been seeing the world from a bar stool. Thank God I am older and wiser now (and that may be the last time you hear me say that!)

I am not a good surfer. My surfing lesson in Byron bay was fairly successful, I think only because the instructor basically holds you in place until you catch a wave. I made friends with one of my instructors, Danny (from California) and he hooked me up with a board for the next two days. Watching me surf would be like watching America's Funniest Home Videos over and over again. I try to get to a wave, and get knocked over. I try to get up on the board, fall off and get hit with the board. But I was persistent and managed to get a little better as the days went on. Byron bay is a cute little hippy town on the coast with beautiful beaches, a lighthouse overlooking the ocean and a bar that offers $5 dinners and wet t-shirt contests every night called "The Cheeky Monkey" ( I couldn't pass up $5 dinners, so I was there two nights in a row!) Since I heard bad reviews on Surfer's Paradise I stayed an extra night in Byron Bay and went from there directly to Brisbane. At first glance I thought Brisbane was kind of a deserted city, but once I got a little further into town I found it to have some pretty neat things to offer - an amazing modern art museum, a large public pool and a farmers market. After some Indian food (I get cravings for it) and a horrible George Clooney movie in the TV room I went to bed early.


From there I took a bus to Hervey Bay, which would be the kick-off to my two night Fraser Island excursion. When the travel agent told me the trip would be "self roving" I didn't understand exactly what that meant, but I soon found out that I would be matched up with a group of 8 other backpackers (I had a fantastic group which consisted of 1 Irish,5 English, 1 Australian and 1 Israeli), stuck into a large pink Toyota land cruiser and we would then have to make our way around Fraser - the largest sand island in the world. When they tell you Fraser is a sand island they mean it - not only is there sand on all the beaches, there is sand for roads, sand in the Forrest's, and even sand in the wind (which results in sand in your food, hair, ears, and basically everywhere else.) I may not be a good surfer, but I was made to drive 4x4 vehicles. The only thing I could think of when driving was the Simpson's episode when Marge buys an SUV called the "Ranchero" and starts driving over things in her road rage. Of course none of the foreigners knew what I was referring to (most of my jokes are lost on them) but boy was driving on the beaches fun! We had a pink car convoy with about 25 people total (I was the only American) and we drove and camped all over the island. The Island was filled with Dingoes (they look like cute dogs, but apparently go Cujo on you if you feed them) which were made into the latest drinking game (anytime we saw one we'd yell "Dingo" everyone would have to drink); Mosi's (also known as Mosquitoes); massive amounts of sharks and jelly fish in the ocean water (which you can't swim in it, but fortunately Fraser has the MOST beautiful lakes I have ever seen); a shipwreck and swimming pools that fill with ocean water known as the Champagne Pools. After two days on the island we were all ready to head back. We took the BEST showers of our lives and danced the night away (and somehow I managed to fist pumped my hand into a ceiling fan while dancing on a table, and cut it, but still had a blast). The next morning we took a walk to the Shark Show, this two-room shark exhibit with clippings all over the wall of all the peopel who have died from sharks. Uhh, why did I pay $12 for this? Either way, the Fraser Island trip was by far was one of my best experiences I have had while being away!

After another night bus (woo hoo, I save $ on overnight accommodation), I arrived in Airlie beach. Like most of the places I have seen so far on the east coast of Australia, this town is no exception - it is a beach town, with cute little surf shops, crazy night-life and public pool called "The Lagoon" because the oceans are too filled with Jelly fish to swim in. Unfortunately, which no one seemed to tell me until I got here, it is the rainy season, so like Florida Summers, the beautiful afternoons are interrupted by the most random and ridiculous downpours.

The next morning, I got all my stuff together to do a two-day sailing trip through the Whitsundays - gorgeous islands located off the coast. It turned out that one of my friends from home, Matt, was on the same sailboat as me, The Freight Train, along with 17 other peopel and 3 crew members. As I sit today restfully in my bed, still mentally rocking from the last two days on the ocean, I will do my best to articulate what I did and didn't like about sailing. I loved the ocean, I loved the feeling of moving up and down on the waves, I loved the scenery. Scuba diving was amazing - fishes, coral, large objects that looked like brains and clams and mazes. I loved getting cooked for - we had three meals a day and snacks in between! We all learned on our first night why the boat may have been called The Freight Train - our skipper, AKA captain Mark, snored like a hippo, keeping everyone below deck up all night long. Even with my earplugs in (I cannot live without earplugs and a face mask these days), I could still feel the mammoth vibrations coming through. I didn't like the snoring. I didn't like how hot it was under the deck (with 18 people sleeping on beds made for children it was hot!). I didn't like the group of 6 Italians who used up all the fresh water taking 3 showers a day, when the rest of us didn't take any. I didn't like the smell - after just a couple short hours everything smelled like sewer. Even when dinner was being cooked I would think "mmm dinner smells good", then "ewww poop", and that would go back and forth depending on how the boat was rocking. I didn't like the roaches I kept finding scurrying around in my bed. I ended up sleeping on the deck both nights (because of the a for mentioned conditions), and with that came its own downfalls - hard ceramic floor, waking up soaking wet from the rain, tornado-like winds and of course the smells still creep ed their way outside - but at least I steered clear of the freight train hippo.



I am back on dry land and showered up, ready to meet my boat crew tonight at the Beaches bar for free drinks and some dinner. Tomorrow I leave on another overnight bus to Cairns where I will do my Great Barrier Reef dive!!